Give Me Novacaine
by Eumaeus
Summary: Songfic. New chapter up! Angsty story between Kagome and Inuyasha, gonna get angstier. Thanks for all the nice reviews!
1. Finger to the Trigger

Hey everyone ! This is my first fanfiction submission, but I am a long time reader. I am also a lousy writer, so **PLEASE**, if you have any corrections or suggestions at all regarding my grammar or writing ability, let me know! I really want to get better at this. Anyhow, this is a songfic, guess I've been listening to too much Green Day.

Edit: Few quick revisions, grammar, reworded a few sentences. THANKS FOR ALL THE NICE REVIEWS! They are like crack, only better! I will try to add another chapter by tomorrow, just because you guys were nice enough to take time and read my lil fic.

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_Take away the sensation inside,_

_Bitter sweet migraine in my head,_

_It's like a throbbing toothache of the mind,_

_I can't take this feeling anymore,_

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Kagome placed the pistol into her mouth, hot tears streaming down her cheeks. She was a wreck, her beautiful cheeks tarnished with the stains of tears. A flood of memories appeared in front of her eyes, almost all of them about _him_. When they professed their love for each other. Their first kiss. When they had finally made love under the stars. They had just recovered the shikon jewel the day before. But all of that seemed so blurred; the once beautiful reverie playing itself in her mind was smeared with the grime of hurt and pain.

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_Drain the pressure from the swelling,_

_The sensation's overwhelming, _

_Give me a kiss goodnight and everything will be all right,_

_Tell me that I won't feel a thing,_

_So give me Novacaine,_

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More memories returned, and Kagome was letting out choked sobs. She had returned to the feudal era, looking for Inuyasha. She asked around the village to find his whereabouts and found he had left towards the forest south of the village. Kagome set off immediately, seeking her love. The young girl wandered around the forest for days, until she finally found him, next to a waterfall. He was groaning in pleasure above Kikyo as he thrust himself into the priestess.

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_Out of body and out of mind,_

_Kiss the demons out of my dreams,_

_I get the funny feeling that's all right_

_Jimmy says it's better than air,_

_I'll tell you why,_

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Kagome bolted, and ran for the well, her tender mind refusing to accept what she had just seen. The "love of her life" was losing himself inside Kikyo. Her arms and legs tingled, and threatened to give out. Her entire body tingled with a blunt sadness that would never leave. In a moment, the young girl's mind returned to the wrecked, disheveled room she stood in. She was still holding the .45 in her mouth.

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_Drain the pressure from the swelling,_

_The sensations overwhelming, _

_Give me a kiss goodnight and everything will be all right,_

_Tell me that I won't feel a thing, _

_So give me Novacaine_

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Wondering consumed her now. Would it hurt? Would it be quick? Who is gonna be the first person to find me after I do this to myself? Those thoughts strengthened as her finger tugged lightly on the trigger. She clenched her teeth, and got ready to taste the bullet. _He_ would know why she did it, and she wanted _him_ to hurt, just like she hurt now.

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_Oh Novacaine,_

_Drain the pressure from the swelling, _

_The sensations overwhelming,_

_Give me a kiss goodnight and everything will be all right,_

_Tell me Jimmy I won't feel a thing, _

_So give me Novacaine._

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The bullet never came. The gun clattered to the wood floor, while Kagome burst into a renewed fit of tears, unable to bring herself to do it. The poor girl fell into the pile of dirty sheets on her bed, and cried herself to sleep. She felt numb.

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That was it! If you liked it, hell, even if you hated it, let me know! R&R please!


	2. Broken Glass, Blood, and Tears

Here it is, it's 2AM and I've got one hell of a headache, but it was worth it to finish this.

This is another songfic; it's called Another Broken Home, again from Green Day. Sorry if the songfics bother you, but they really help me get the mood down in my writing. I'll take'em out next chapter if you want me to. Anyways, read on.

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_To live and not to breathe,_

_Is to die in tragedy,_

_To run, to run away,_

_To find what you believe._

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"Meh…" 

Inuyasha walked down the street, cigarette alight in his mouth. He had rather taken to the modern era, much more comfortable than the feudal times, and he could be closer to… _Kagome_…

But not anymore… He had cheated on her, with Kikyo of all people…

"Who the hell am I kidding? I am a MORON!" With that, he threw his fist into the brick wall of the shop he stood next to. He looked at his hand. Fingers and knuckles bloodied, the hanyou began to weep.

"What have I done?" Inuyasha wailed and hit the wall again. Suppressed feelings of guilt and regret let themselves out. The hanyou, was no longer weeping, he was howling.

"Kagome, my love, I have hurt you so…"

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_And I leave behind,_

_This hurricane of fucking lies,_

_I lost my faith to this,_

_This town that don't exist._

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He found a park bench to sit on, and tilted his head upward, towards the stars.

"God, I know I haven't been very devout, and I know I have been a hateful sinner, but please, let Kagome stop hurting. Hell, I don't deserve a girl like that. Please let her move on, and let her forget about me. I love her so much… I just want her to be happy…"

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_So I run,_

_I run away,_

_The light of masochist._

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Inuyasha walked back to his apartment, eyes gazing at the ground. He lit up another smoke, and inhaled deeply. He arrived at his door, fumbled for hi keys, and walked in. Walking into the bathroom, he opened up the medicine cabinet.

"Shit… My hand is pretty messed up… Can't say I don't deserve it though…"

He reached into the forest of bottles and containers and pullet out some rubbing alcohol. He took off the cap and up-ended the bottle over his badly cut and scraped hand. The flood of cool alcohol filled his wounds, then began to sear and burn like an Armageddon flame.

"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!"

Inuyasha immediately regretted it, even though he knew he had to clean his cuts. He reached for some gauze and wrapped it around the whole of his hand, and taped the sloppy bandage on with some scotch tape.

He looked at his reflection in the mirror.

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_And I leave behind,_

_This hurricane of fucking lies,_

_And I walked this line,_

_A million and one fucking times,_

_But not this time._

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His guilty eyes stared back at him. 

"I wonder… I wonder if Kagome is all right…" He hadn't talked to her since she caught him cheating. He reached for the phone, then hesitated. He couldn't talk to her over the phone; the phone was too inhumane for a situation like this. She was probably asleep by now, he thought, he would visit her tomorrow…

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_I don't feel any shame,_

_I won't apologize,_

_When there ain't nowhere you can go._

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What would he say, though? What _could_ he say after doing a thing like that? He flipped on the faucet, and pooled the water in his cupped hands. He splashed it onto his face, then grabbed a towel and dabbed it dry.

"Goddamnit. Kagome…" He slammed his wounded fist into the mirror.

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_Running away from pain,_

_When you've been victimized,_

_Tales from another broken home._

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"Damnit! Damnit! Fuck!" He fell to the floor, with shards of glass sticking out of his bandages and wounded hand, and brought the whole medicine cabinet with him. Blood, pills, and bandages smeared and scattered all over the tile floor and rug. There Inuyasha lay, in a pile of blood-smeared medicine, in excruciating pain, and he pictured her in front of him.

"Kagome… please… forgive me…I love you…more than… life itself…"

Inuyasha buried his face into his gory hands.

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_You're leaving,_

_You're leaving,_

_You're leaving,_

Ah you're leaving home. 

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That was it, hope you liked it. Now, I'd like to address all of my reviewers:

Billyjoe'sLover: Thanks for the input, I tried to put more substance into this chapter, so it'll probably take a little longer to read.

Fiona-Angel: Thanks! That gives me warm fuzzies!

Nohohon: I guess I learned something new today!

Punkgoddess: I'm so happy you like my writing, and I hope you'll enjoy this chapter too.

InuChick13: It's reviews like these that motivated me to continue writing.

Leslie Batts: Thanks for the review, I really appreciate it.

xCrimzinTearx: Honestly, I am no expert on suicides, but I tried to use my imagination and portray one as realistically as possible. Thanks!

I'm gonna make it a goal of mine to address all of my reviewers, just because I really appreciate that you guys take the time to read and then critique my writing.

Happy fanfictioning!


	3. Waking

Eumaeus here, wishing everyone a happy New Year! This chapter is another songfic, most of you seem to like the music. All of the songs I have used thus far are on the critically acclaimed American Idiot CD, so go out and buy it, you cheap shmuck! Thanks for all the reviews, I'll address the reviewers at the end of this chapter.

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_Summer has come and passed,_

_The innocent can never last,_

_Wake me up when September ends._

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Rays of morning sunlight shone through the window, waking Kagome. "No… I didn't want to wake up yet…" Kagome reached for the blinds and slammed them shut, she rolled over and tried to get comfortable.

"Damnit…" She couldn't get settled now that she was awake. She chanced a glance towards the alarm clock beside her bed.

"Ugh… Nine-Thirty…" she mumbled.

"Kagome, now's not the time to sleep late…" she whispered to herself. With that, Kagome tossed the thin white sheet covering her aside, and sat upright, pulling several empty liquor bottles to the floor with her.

"My head… " She groaned…

"How much did I have to drink last night…?" Kagome rubbed her throbbing eyes, and massaged her temples. Bottles of liquor dotted the room.

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_Like my fathers come to pass,_

_Seven years has gone so fast,_

_Wake me up when September ends._

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Kagome pulled herself up using her nightstand, and walked to the bathroom. She picked up her toothbrush, coated it in toothpaste and brushed hard. "Anything to get rid of this gasoline mouth…" She took a giant swig of mouthwash, and spat into the sink.

"Bastard… I bet he's with Kikyo now… Well fuck him, and fuck her…"

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_Here comes the rain again,_

_Falling from the stars,_

_Drenched in my pain again,_

_Becoming who we are._

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Kagome looked at her eyes in the mirror, bloodshot and watery. "No, Kagome, no more crying over him…No more…crying … Godamnit!" Her eyes filled, and rivulets of hot tears ran down her cheeks once more.

"How could he do this to me!? I loved him… God I loved him so much…"

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_As my memory rests,_

_But never forgets what I lost,_

_Wake me up when September ends._

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She walked out of her bathroom, took off her pajamas, and put on a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt.

"Fucker…" but even as she said that, she knew that deep in her broken heart, she still loved the half-demon. He was her first love, her first lover, and she also knew that none of those things were possible with him anymore. Not anymore…

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_Summer has come and passed,_

_The innocent can never last,_

_Wake me up when September ends._

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"I'm not taking him back… Not now… Not ever…"

"Kinda funny how you can both love and hate someone at the same time, huh Kagome?" Sango leaned against the wall in her doorway.

"Sango?"

"I probably should have knocked, but I heard you in here crying, and the door was open…"

"Oh Sango…" Kagome ran up to and hugged Sango, burying her face into her shoulder.

"I heard about Inuyasha, and I just wanted to let you know that I am here for you…"

Kagome sat on her couch, and pulled a blanket over herself. Sango made a beeline for the refrigerator, grabbed a tub of chocolate ice cream and a spoon, then returned to Kagome.

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_Ring out the bells again,_

_Like we did when spring began,_

_Wake me up when September ends._

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"A little chocolate ice cream always makes me feel better when I'm sad. I think you should have some Kagome, you look like you could use it." Sango smiled at her heartbroken friend.

"Thanks, Sango," Kagome smiled back.

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_Here comes the rain again,_

_Falling from the stars,_

_Drenched in my pain again,_

_Becoming who we are,_

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"Inuyasha!! Answer this door!!" Miroku pounded on the door to Inuyasha's apartment. " I know you are in there, you cheating bastard!"

"Wha…?"

Inuyasha lay barely awake on the bathroom floor, and it looked like a scene from a horror movie. Caked blood, glass, pills lay everywhere. And his hand screamed in bitter agony. Inuyasha looked down at it. It was still wrapped in a flimsy bandage, but there were shards of broken sticking out of it, and his hand. Inuyasha peeled off the gauze…

"Jesus…"

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_As my memory rests,_

_But never forgets what I lost,_

_Wake me up when September ends._

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His hand looked like it had been caught in a meat grinder.

"I'M COMING IN INUYASHA!" Miroku forcefully shouldered the door open and stepped inside. He found Inuyasha lying in the bathroom.

The monk nearly vomited at the scene he stood in. "Oh my god… Where'd all the blood… and why are you… and… Jesus… You are going to a hospital right now!"

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_Summer has come and passed,_

_The innocent can never last,_

_Wake me up when September ends._

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Inuyasha looked at his fucked-up hand, then gazed at the stunned monk with empty looking eyes. "I don't feel like living anymore…"

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_Like my father's come to pass,_

_Twenty years has gone so fast,_

_Wake me up when September ends,_

_Wake me up when September ends,_

_Wake me up when September ends._

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Thanks for reading! Drop me a review if you feel like it. Now to the reviewers!

Karmarox: Thanks a bunch! I really like Green Day too, but I may have to throw in songs from another band soon, but I promise that you will like'em!

Fiona-Angel: Yep, all the songs are on the CD. Well worth the 15 bucks. Thanks for the nice input.

Krazy-Kilala: I know exactly what you mean, I'm kinda tired of the live happily ever after stories you always see. But who knows, maybe mine will end happily… or maybe not… you'll just have to wait and see!

Punkgoddess: Thanks for reading my fanfic, I'm gonna keep writing as long as people keep reading. D

Ama-chan: Aww, shucks, you made me blush. You're right, I kinda nailed myself into the AU hole. I guess I imagined that after finding the skikon jewel, the gang would live with Kagome in the modern era. Your review was not overbearing, and your suggestions were not weird at all. I **really** appreciate your feedback, and they are always welcome.

I'm gonna try to advance the plot a lil bit next chapter, maybe even have Kagome and Inuyasha meet face to face. Who knows what'll happen then… Hell, I don't even know yet.

Happy New Year everyone!


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